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April 1, 2007· scvtalk.com · PHP-Nuke (SCVTalk 1.0) · Wayback capture

West Ranch Town Council reacts to city crime wave

Attributed to Jeff Wilson (editor-supplied)

Fearful that Canyon Country's "cornucopia of crime" might spread to the idyllic West Ranch communities, Town Council president Dave Bossert has come up with a radical solution to the problem. The outspoken president hopes to convince authorities to build a gigantic wall to separate West Ridge, Stevenson Ranch, and the Southern Oaks communities from what he calls "crime-ridden" Santa Clarita. "It's quite simple really," Bossert told SCVTalk.com in an exclusive interview, "The Chinese knew how to keep the Mongol Hordes out. The East German communists knew how to keep west Berlin crime out. Emperor Hadrian kept pesky and criminally minded Celts from invading southern England. They all built gigantic walls. We're going to do the same."

Bossert's proposal, which has yet to be approved by Los Angeles County authorities, would be the largest public works project in Santa Clarita history. Bossert showed SCVTalk.com an initial map of the project, which details the location of the massive 14 foot high wall. The wall, made of reinforced concrete, extends east along Pico Canyon Road, north along Interstate 5, and terminates at an undeveloped point just south of Magic Mountain. Engineers and planners say the unprecedented fortification would allow residents of the West Ranch communities to sleep safer at night, knowing that no one east of the 5 Freeway could penetrate the West Ranch "Green Zone." Checkpoints on bridges at McBean, Valencia, and Lyons Ave would be built to ensure that only west side residents and pre-approved Valencia Marketplace shoppers could enter the secured zone. The Old Road would lie behind the impenetrable wall, topped with concertina wire, flood lights, and patrolled by armed guards and attack dogs. Anyone with a Canyon Country, Newhall, and Val Verde zip code would be denied entry, Bossert said. Residents of older areas of Saugus and parts of Castaic may also be forbidden to visit the west side. "Once the leadership of the West Ranch Town Council realized that crime was soaring in many parts of Santa Clarita, we decided to think outside the box, to really make sure the scourge of Santa Clarita crime doesn't impact our beautiful communities," Bossert said. Reaction from the City of Santa Clarita was swift. "We're shocked really. We had no idea the leadership of the west side communities was that scared of people east of Interstate 5," Mayor Marsha McLean told SCVTalk.com in a telephone interview. "Our planners are still looking at this proposal, but right now we're just shocked. Jaw-dropingly shocked." Other West ridge residents supported the idea. "Once this wall is built, I can tell potential buyers that a home in West Ranch is a home in the safest and most secure neighborhood in America," star Realtor Max Powers said. "Fortress America we'll call it!" Powers said, while getting a pedicure at Nail Forum in Valencia Marketplace. Other west side residents had different reasons for supporting the wall. "Canyon Country is a ruff and tumble place filled with desperate people," West Ranch resident Brian told SCVTalk. "Much of it has to due with poor parenting and uninterested parents. We just don't want those kinds of people on our side of town, and that's why I support this wall," Brian said. Analysts had different views on how the wall might affect the debate about the future governance options for the west ranch communities. Proponents of west side annexation admit it would be difficult to integrate the west side communities into the city if the militarized wall is bulit. "Are they keeping crime out, or residents in?" asked city planner Kai Luoma. Others were skeptical of Bossert's intentions. "This is a political move on his part to solidfy his control of the West Ranch communities and eventually become mayor of a new town," a county executive told SCVTalk.com on condition of anonymity. Bossert hopes to have the wall built by June 2008. Dropped from the plans for the wall were a mine field in the so called "Demilitarized" zone, just east of the wall. Developing... jeff@scvtalk.com
West Ranch Town Council reacts to city crime wave

Comments (4)

  1. pinkyApril 1 at 5:26 PM PT
    This piece is hysterical! I enjoyed reading it .
  2. ChrisAApril 2 at 8:34 AM PT
    The graphics are the best! The cornucopia, and the map.... Very, very funny!
  3. MorningstarrApril 2 at 8:57 AM PT
    My favorite was the comments from Mayor McLean. Histerical! ...ya know, Mr. Bossert just might do it!
  4. BillApril 3 at 9:04 PM PT
    Well done Jeff. Now please excuse me as I most go and read my Playboy, smoke some pot, shoot some craps and go shoot at someone!

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