I’ve been following former cop/street preacher/blogger Tony Miano for as long as I’ve been blogging about the SCV, and now it appears he’s following me, right into the barrios of Newhall!
Okay “barrio” is a bit of a severe term for my neighborhood (which I affectionately refer to as SoLy, south of Lyons), but we must be doing something wrong if we’re attracting Tony Miano, the SCV’s own Ezekiel.
Miano, you’ll recall, is a former SCV Sheriff’s Deputy/Chaplain who has become the de facto street preacher/soap boxer in these parts. He often posts videos of himself and his family sharing the Gospel in front of the San Fernando Courthouse, or via megaphone at Proposition 8 protests last fall.
Now he’s in my hood.
At first glance, it’s probably a good spot. Avenida Entrana/Lyons is the location of Doc’s Inn, a rather infamous dive bar in Newhall. As Miano notes, there is much sinning/blaspheming/fornicating (possibly) going on at the ol’ Doc’s Inn (I speak from relatively limited experience, honest) and Miano says he got called to it often when he served on the thin blue line.
His chosen location is also near some Paseos in Old Orchard I and the Old Orchard park, which means he should get some good wholesome Valencia foot traffic. Mormon Congressman Buck McKeon’s offices are right across the street, meaning Miano might have an election-year ally who’s sympathetic (if wary) of his cause.
It would seem that MIano has found as ideal a spot as he can in the SCV, but I for one resent his new location.
Why? Well, I can’t help but notice in all his photos that Miano is preaching on the Valencia side of Lyons Avenue. He’s shouting about God to us in the 91321 from the 91355. He is preaching to us from inside the Master Plan, telling those of us who live in an area that wasn’t planned much at all how rotten we all are.
Newhall already has enough of an identity complex without Miano jabbing his big fat righteous finger into our open sore; everyone knows what Valencia is about, scrappy Newhall, on the other hand, is still trying to find itself. Yes, it’s fair to say those of us in the SoLy are a bit jealous of our neighbors in the NoLy, what with their winding, tree-lined paseos, their large houses, and scores of parks, open spaces, and swingsets.
To put it another way, Valencia is the high school kid who did everything right, went off to college, married well, found a good job, had a family and is now settling into its golden years. Newhall, in contrast, is the wanna-be art student who goofed off in high school, went to a community college, then transferred around majoring in philosophy, history, business, and art, and finally settled for a job at Starbucks (serving people in Valencia) and is still waiting for his ship to come in.
Miano, by preaching to us from Valencia, makes all that bitterness, jealousy, and resentment just bubble up to the surface.
It’s enough to make me almost want to set up a counter-soap box on the 91321 side of Lyons. I, of course, will preach the philosophy of secular humanism & Newhall in between drinks at Doc’s Inn. We could get a pair of Mormon missionairies to preach on the other corner across from Miano, and maybe a New Ager to round out the fourth corner. Who knows, maybe Avenida Entrana can become our own version of Hyde Park?