Hello Sir,
Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Or do you just do stupid things as a matter of habit?
I ask because on Saturday I witnessed something on a local paseo I’ve never seen before. That’s right, of all the crazy things I’ve seen in 6,000 miles of bicycling around this city, what I saw you do Saturday on a paseo in Old Orchard takes the cake.
Congrtalutions! You win the prize for riding a motorcycle with your kid on a paseo.
Not a bicycle with a motor strapped on. Not even a moped or one of those fancy e-bikes that straddles the line between motorized and pedal-powered transportation.
No, you were riding a real honest-to-God two stroke dirt bike motorcycle.
You may or may not have seen me. I was the guy on a bicycle who rode by you with a confused WTF? look on my face. I even thought of turning around and riding up next to you to ask you what the hell you thought you were doing with a motorcycle on a paseo, but you were going too fast.
I realized later what you were trying to do. You’re a dad. You want to teach your kid how to ride a motorcycle. You figure motorcycling is unsafe as it is, so you figure you’ll minimize the risk to your runt kid by taking the motorcycle off the street, where it belongs, and riding it on a freaking paseo.
I bet you even told your wife about your plan.
“Oh George, he’s too young to learn to motorcycle,” she protested.
“Don’t worry about it Doris, I have a plan. We’re going to ride on the paseo! It’s pretty safe there!” you said, feeling pretty smart to have figured it out.
Only it’s not safe you moron. There are people, children, dogs, kites, cats, R/C cars and more on paseos. In fact, sometimes the paseos are so crowded with people (like warm Saturday evenings in May), it’s unsafe to ride a bicycle, let alone a freaking motorbike!
Would you teach your kid to hunt animals by giving him a rifle and taking him to the zoo? I don’t think so!
Epic fail sir.
This weekend Santa Clarita was rightfully proud of two outstanding citizens who received Man and Woman of the Year awards. In my own silent and angry way, I hereby dub you SCV Dumbass of the Year. And if I see you again riding a motorbike on a paseo again, I will not hesitate to follow you back to your house where I will give you a piece of my mind.
Your’s Truly,
Jeff
Comments (5)