Image not recoveredworld_war_z-wide.jpg
I'm a fan of zombie fiction and dystopian fiction in general. And there is one movie I've been looking forward to all year: World War Z, starring Brad Pitt.
Like many of you I suspect, I've read & re-read Max Brooks' amazing 2006 book World War Z, in which an oral historian collects statements from surviving witnesses of the Zombie Apocalypse that nearly wiped out humanity. It's a great read, one of my top 10 favorite fictional books, so good that I sometimes just load it up on the Kindle app and enjoy a chapter or two during lunch.
So you can imagine how excited I was to see World War Z, which debuted Friday. Everyone at my work was set to see it this weekend, and I wanted desperately to watch it as well.
Image not recovereddc3.jpg
Alas, I live in the SCV, where our movie theaters are stuck in the dial-up era, whereas all my work colleagues and friends over the hill live and have theateres that are in a wondrous age of broadband, 4G LTE wireless, ubiquitous wifi, and on-demand entertainment. Or, to put it another way, SCV theaters are to a DC-3 airplane what SFV theaters are to the Concorde, or Airbus A380. Pick your old/new tech analogy...they all work. SCV Theaters are like old time telephone service where you pay for long-distance by the minute, spinning through a number dialer one at a time, while SFV theaters are like Facetime over 4G. You get the picture.
Here's how my friends saw WWZ this weekend in the SFV:
- Login to ArcLight movie theater website
- Purchase tickets (one friend bought eight) for any of the numerous (dozen or so) showings
- Select seats online
- Drive to theater 10 minutes before start of show
- Park (valet, if they're feeling wealthy)
- Buy condiments
- Find your assigned seats, which, by the way, are leather and recline, with cup holders
- Enjoy the film
And here's how I tried and failed to see WWZ
- Google movie showtimes
- Find that Canyon Country & Valencia are showing about six screenings of WWZ, only two of which are during the day, and thus cheaper
- Purchase tickets via Fandango to avoid the long line at the Box Office
- Show up two hours early
- Sit under the garish neon lights in the hallway, gold plated reflective coating, and loud, disgusting and filthy carpet (really, the interiors of the SCV's Regal Cinemas are lifted straight out of a 1970s Vegas casino; only the cigarette smoke & slot machines are missing)
- Feel stressed that the teens in front of you are saving spaces for a dozen or more of their friends
- Worry that even though you were #3 in line, there is no line control on the part of the staff, so you'll end up with crappy seats anyway
- Finally make your way to your seat, only to find it's filthy
- Enjoy film
Visualizing this, I decided not to go. Because what I described above is what happens every time I go see a blockbuster at an SCV Regal. It's an awful, degrading, stressful 4-5 hour experience, especially when you're trying to secure seats for your wife or friends or something. Yes I know this is totally a first world problem, but we should demand better, damnit!
Image not recoveredz_arclight_001.jpg
That's why it's time for the government, aka the City of Santa Clarita to step in. What we have here in the SCV, is a market failure in action. The private theater market in the SCV has failed to keep up with the tastes of American movie-goers. They're stuck in 1995. Their last innovation was theater-style seating (remember how great that was in 1996, when we only had the Mann & Edwards theaters? Me too. It was awesome to watch Independence Day and not worry that some 6'6" guy would sit in front of you, and block the screen). Since then, they've stagnated, and failed us. It's time for the City of Santa Clarita to build a modern movie theater for us, and either lease it out to a private company for operations (like the Libraries), or operate it themselves.
"But Jeff, that's inappropriate! The government shouldn't be doing that for us."
Bollocks I say! Our government already provides loads of services that, in any other community, would be fulfilled by private, for-profit enterprises. We have adult education classes, for instance. The City will even teach you how to dance to Flamenco music if you like, or ballet, or Irish or Hip Hop!
No one throws concerts in the SCV for us to enjoy, so the City also entertains us directly, by hiring concert performers every summer for Concerts in the Park. Businesses have failed to draw people to Old Town Newhall, so guess what? The City hosts classic car shows, dance parties, music festivals, street art programs, and more along main street. No one bats an eye at this because without the City, we wouldn't have jack-squat to entertain us in town.
Want to go to the beach? In many communities, enterprising individuals might set up a van pool or bus to take you to the beach in the summer. Not here! So the City does it because the market has failed.
We started building and crossing this bridge a long time ago; we might as well complete it.
It's time we recognize just how bad Regal Cinema is. And it's time the City step in to correct this failure in the market. As we debate the forthcoming City Budget, let's consider building our own modern movie theater and handing it over to ArcLight or some other sophisticated operator, or, if need be, manage it ourselves.
We, the people of the SCV, demand better a better movie-going experience!
Comments (24)