One day before the final ballot count incumbent City Council member Frank Ferry revealed in a shocker that he actually voted for David Gauny, his close challenger on election day.
“I knew that at least one person’s life would be vastly improved by a Gauny victory. ME!!!!!” stated a very giddy and perhaps slightly inebriated Ferry.
“If Dave wins then he will get to sit in those council chambers two Tuesdays a month and listen to the following which I will not miss in the least:
- Cam Noltemeyer three minute stream of consciousness speeches informed by acid flashbacks;
- Alan Ferdman’s opinion on EVERYTHING;
- TimBen Boydston (bless his heart) quotations of Lincoln and Jefferson; and
- Starring at David Gauny’s hair and wondering how he gets it to stay that way.
“And I’m not even talking about Marsha McLean’s fetish obsession with light rail and the horse smell that Laurene Weste denies she brings into EVERY council meeting.”
When asked questions about the delay of the final ballot count and concerns about ballot security Ferry sneered, “They ought to be worried about me breaking in and stuffing the envelopes with 100 bullet votes for David Gauny to seal the deal!”
As for how he will spend his newly free Tuesday nights, Ferry said he would watch Law and Order: Special Victims Unit and Scrubs live and without DVR, though he might periodically run through the City Council chambers during public participation time laughing like a maniac, clothing optional.
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